|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Marital Strife - again - 7/10/2010 8:17:50 PM
|
|
|
Keabird
Posts: 462
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Hi all
A year or more back, I asked for prayer here concerning my marriage. Had previously shared on the Marriage forums about serious issues with my husband.
We had worked through much of it, and after SEVERAL separations and reconciliations (verbal abuse was involved) things really seemed to have settled and we have been together now, without a separation, for nearly 18 months. That might not sound like a long time, but previously we'd only go for 3 months or so before the old patterns resurfaced.
I'm asking for prayer again. Once again, I'm considering separation, final, because I feel I can't cope. Hubby hasn't returned to out and out abuse, but there has been an ongoing issue since the beginning of our marriage, of my family and especially their friends, not being made to feel welcome in our home, to the point where they KNOW they are not welcome by how he treats them, and hints he drops at them.
This time it is my daughter's boyfriend, who is a very nice Christian young man. It's not just the unwelcoming, it's the fact that EVERY WEEKEND, and EVERY FEW DAYS, hubby asks me if we can not have the boyfriend over in the following weekend, days, whatever - before anyone has even asked. At the same time, daughter, will ask politely and respectfully if bf can come over for an afternoon (not knowing hubby has already said he's unwelcome) so I am well and truly caught in the middle. This has been going on for months now, and I can't cope.
I cannot look forward to a nice, friendly peaceful weekend, after working a long week, because this continual issue just wrecks it. Daughter gets upset, I get upset, and there is no valid reason why the bf should not visit anyway!
Hubby has a selection of "choice" people, that he welcomes readily. They are mostly people who share his militaria interest, and the other odd person here and there. My own family (sisters etc) are tolerated on the VERY rare occasions they visit. (They live at the other end of the country.)
On the practical side of things, we bought a house together, but since hubby is out of work, I am paying for it, along with nearly all the other bills. I suggested to hubby that maybe he would be happier if he lived in his own place where he could choose exactly who gets to go there. I also expressed that I've been so unhappy about this, that I have considered not making the mortgage payment, but instead using it to go rent a place for myself and the kids to get some peace. Well, he absolutely jumped at that, albeit very angrily. Said it was a good idea and that he would basically stay here until the house was forced to sell. He then prepared to go out, but before he left, came back and ordered me to go ahead and find somewhere else to live. Legally, he can't do that, but I am thinking, perhaps that would be the cleanest, quickest way to go at this point.
We need prayer, and I need prayer for direction. 8 years + of working at this marriage, seems a shame to give up now. But nor can I cope.
History shows that hubby will use whomever and whatever he can to avoid paying costs - living off others, staying from place to place for free. It is clear he is intending in this situation to sit right here in this house without paying anything, until he is forced to move by either a house sale or a mortgagee sale.
If he is still in the same frame of mind when he comes back, I'm going to suggest we sell the house now, rather than wait for it to get into arrears - that way we might at least both get some cash out of it, or break even. But he is not good with money things like that, and in nasty frame of mind is more likely to be as difficult as possible.
Please pray.
My wee grandchildren of course are here too, in this. They are okay, but if he continues being nasty, I will move out for their sake too.
Sherri
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/10/2010 8:36:26 PM
|
|
|
sarju60
Posts: 2445
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Originally Iowa now live in Alabama
Status: offline
|
Lord I pray for your will to be done in Keabird's marriage. Lord give this couple wisdom as they seek to do the right thing. Thank you Father for your love.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/10/2010 11:52:36 PM
|
|
|
autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
Status: offline
|
Lord, I ask in agreement for Keabird's marriage. We ask for peace in this house, and a peace for
Sherri and for wisdom, in Jesus name, Amen.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/11/2010 7:52:20 AM
|
|
|
bettymackII
Posts: 1501
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline
|
 that God will lead you to make the wisest choices!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/11/2010 9:23:49 AM
|
|
|
peaceofGod
Posts: 14621
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Now in TX
Status: offline
|
Father,
Thank you for Keabird’s desire to do what is right in your eyes. Please work things out for her, for the children, and for her husband. Please cause the result to be wonderful. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
_____________________________
Jim
Blog:Waiting for an answer?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/11/2010 4:31:21 PM
|
|
|
oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
Status: offline
|
Father, please give Sherri hope. Please give her peace and direction. Defuse anger and bring healing to this marriage. I ache for her and admire her strong faith. father, please help her with this burden and please allow there to be a breakthrough in this relationship. Agree with Jim in asking for a wonderful result. Bring your supernatural power and healing in to this situation, please.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/11/2010 7:15:31 PM
|
|
|
marstacy
Posts: 2677
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline
|
Father,
Keabird's story breaks my heart for her sake but it also reminds me of my daughter's marriage. Lord, please intervene in this marriage and do a mighty work in her husband. Change his mind and his heart. Help him to be the man You want him to be. Keabird is carrying a load that no one can carry year after year. Send her encouragement and help. Give her wisdom about all of the matters that must be considered. Make it so she can clearly understand what Your Will is. Lord, please provide for the needs of all of those in the household and keep them safe and in Your loving care.
In Jesus' Most Precious name,
Amen.
_____________________________
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/11/2010 8:30:51 PM
|
|
|
Dancre
Posts: 185
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
Give them grace God and wisdom to the root of this problem.
_____________________________
Kim
http://Kimkouski.com/
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/11/2010 9:59:29 PM
|
|
|
sarju60
Posts: 2445
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Originally Iowa now live in Alabama
Status: offline
|
Lord I continue to pray that your hand will be upon this marriage.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/12/2010 9:20:26 PM
|
|
|
oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
Status: offline
|
I lift dear keabird up to you Father for comfort, healing of raw emotions and the wisdom to discern your will in this. heal this marriage, Father. i ask in Jesus' name. Thank you.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/13/2010 3:31:04 AM
|
|
|
Keabird
Posts: 462
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Thank you all so much for your prayers. I had a direct answer to prayer the morning after posting here.
On that evening, I decided that I would try and be helpful anyway, regardless of what was going on. Hubby had had a problem with his PC in the morning, and had more or less accused me of tampering with it. With everything else that went on, I forgot all about it, and in the evening went into the lounge to find him on the phone to Helpdesk Support. He chose to do that rather than ask me nicely if I could look at it. :-) Gotta keep your sense of humour with this one .. anyway, it would have taken a while for the person to help, as they were looking at browser problems, when the problem was that his PC's CMOS battery is dying and the clock said 2002 so it was not recognizing certificates and wouldn't let him look at pages. :)
After that I went to bed and prayed a lot, and at one point, for quite a while, felt a spiritual heaviness, like an attack, like something was really trying to bother me. Gave it all over to the Lord, and waited on Him and went to sleep eventually.
Next morning walked into bathroom and suddenly a passage of Scripture came into my head - the story of the sheep and the goats, which is about hospitality, giving someone a drink, visit, food etc. I knew the Lord was showing me that I needed to do what was right in this regard, and not let hubby ask me to do the opposite, which is what he was trying to do. So I shared that with him later, and although he didn't say much, nor did he kick up a fuss.
After that I had peace, peace is back in the home, but only time will tell whether hubby is also affected in his actions, so we will see. But I told him outright that I could not submit to him asking me to do wrong in that regard.
So we carry on ... and the Lord shows His direction and wisdom. Praise be to the Lord Jesus, who hears us and answers.
Amen
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/13/2010 7:03:54 AM
|
|
|
sarju60
Posts: 2445
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Originally Iowa now live in Alabama
Status: offline
|
Thank you Father for this revelation to keabird. I pray that she will continue to feel your peace and that there will be peace in the home. I pray that her dh will reach out to you and give you the issues he needs to deal with and work on bringing that peace to the home.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/13/2010 2:13:03 PM
|
|
|
marstacy
Posts: 2677
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: sarju60
Thank you Father for this revelation to keabird. I pray that she will continue to feel your peace and that there will be peace in the home. I pray that her dh will reach out to you and give you the issues he needs to deal with and work on bringing that peace to the home.
Amen!
_____________________________
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/17/2010 1:16:26 AM
|
|
|
IwillseekHim
Posts: 835
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline
|
Praying for your marriage. Thankful that you feel His peace around you. May all be done to His will for you and your husband.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/17/2010 8:29:24 PM
|
|
|
Keabird
Posts: 462
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
We know that the Bible says that God's Word will not return to Him void.
I believe that when the Lord touches us, or shows us the way, that we will see ongoing results of that.
So I wanted to share, that while I shared the passage about the sheep and goats with hubby (which he knows well), I did it from the point of view of what the Lord was directing me to do, without telling hubby what HE should do.
I was encouraged last night. A week later, last night, out of the blue, hubby suddenly said that he realized that while his oldest son was living in this city, he hardly even had the son over for a meal. Sadly, both the oldest son and hubby's daughter are currently estranged from him. So I was much encouraged that hubby has suddenly become aware that he could have shown him more hospitality. I didn't say much, just said, oh well if he comes back here to live, you'll be able to make that different.
We had daughter's bf over for tea on Friday, and hubby was fine with him.
Thank You Lord for helping us grow. We so much all need to grow, Lord! May each of us be awakened to where we need to grow and become aware of others Lord... me included Lord.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/18/2010 7:18:04 PM
|
|
|
autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
Thank You Lord for helping us grow. We so much all need to grow, Lord!
Oh Lord, this is my prayer too, Amen.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/18/2010 8:00:58 PM
|
|
|
oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
Status: offline
|
Father, i thank you for this faithful sister, and that you have directed her and touched her heart and it seems her husband's heart. Allow them to grow together, with you at their center, through this stormy time in their marriage. give both of them the desire to work on this. Father, encourage. Please give hope and ever increasing discernment. I selfishly ask this for my and other marriages too. Thank you for your care for her and for us. i thank you for the encouragement and strong faith she shares with us.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/18/2010 9:34:36 PM
|
|
|
sarju60
Posts: 2445
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Originally Iowa now live in Alabama
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: autocad
quote:
Thank You Lord for helping us grow. We so much all need to grow, Lord!
Oh Lord, this is my prayer too, Amen.
Yes, Father, yes.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/20/2010 5:18:18 AM
|
|
|
Keabird
Posts: 462
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
To add to this ... I didn't want to share this cos it is awful really :( but we need prayer support ...
One of hubby's "weapons" has been to tell me I am retarded, mentally ill, bi-polar, need medication .. etc etc
After the counselling we had, in which this was all brought up, he stopped it for a while. He has recently started it again, and is doing it more and more, in front of my daughter and the grandchildren. Not all the time - but if he gets annoyed with me, then he gets nasty, and out it comes.
It's obviously very hurtful to me, and I'm disgusted that someone would speak like this to his wife in front of children. These days I am finding it so hard not to retort back with something similar!
Tonight I shared this with my sister. She suggested that I ask the Lord to show me how to combat it, not in the flesh, but spiritually - how to stand against it in prayer.
So I am asking you all to pray for us both about it. I had said to myself a while back, that if he started this again, in front of the kids, then I would out. Well, he's started it, and here I am wavering. What to do??? Lord??
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/20/2010 7:40:11 PM
|
|
|
oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
Status: offline
|
Father, I am angry. I'm sorry, but I'm angry. This seems so cruel, and I hurt for keabird, and I know she hurts. Father, please heal this marriage. On both sides.
I ask that this precious sister be given, BY YOU, the grace, wisdom and love to deal with this put down. Wisely. Gently. EFFECTIVELY. father, I ask you to give her the supernatural grace to handle this. I ask that you also convict this husband's heart of how damaging this name-calling is, esp when it's in front of others. Father, my sister has dignity, she is made by You and loved by You. Please uphold her. I ask this urgently in Jesus' name.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/20/2010 7:44:41 PM
|
|
|
sarju60
Posts: 2445
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Originally Iowa now live in Alabama
Status: offline
|
Father I know that you do not want a person to be hurt in such a way. Lord I am asking, pleading that you will stop this abuse. Lord I know it saddens you to see one of your children suffer so. I pray this man's heart can be reached. Lord I know it hurts children to see a loved one be hurt like this too. Please I pray for your will and your wisdom for keabird.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/27/2010 6:31:27 PM
|
|
|
oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
Status: offline
|
Father, I continue to pray for healing in this marriage. Thank you. give grace to K and her husband.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/30/2010 9:20:20 AM
|
|
|
autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
Status: offline
|
Oh Lord, we lift our sister Keabird up to You. We pray for a peace, for no quarrelling, for strength in her inner spirit. Lord, she said quote:
and here I am wavering. What to do??? Lord?? .
Show Keabird what to do, Lord, and we will continue to pray for this situation, in Jesus precious name, AMEN.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/30/2010 10:02:55 AM
|
|
|
sarju60
Posts: 2445
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Originally Iowa now live in Alabama
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: autocad
Oh Lord, we lift our sister Keabird up to You. We pray for a peace, for no quarrelling, for strength in her inner spirit. Lord, she said quote:
and here I am wavering. What to do??? Lord?? .
Show Keabird what to do, Lord, and we will continue to pray for this situation, in Jesus precious name, AMEN.
quote:
ORIGINAL: autocad
Oh Lord, we lift our sister Keabird up to You. We pray for a peace, for no quarrelling, for strength in her inner spirit. Lord, she said quote:
and here I am wavering. What to do??? Lord?? .
Show Keabird what to do, Lord, and we will continue to pray for this situation, in Jesus precious name, AMEN.
quote:
ORIGINAL: autocad
Oh Lord, we lift our sister Keabird up to You. We pray for a peace, for no quarrelling, for strength in her inner spirit. Lord, she said quote:
and here I am wavering. What to do??? Lord?? .
Show Keabird what to do, Lord, and we will continue to pray for this situation, in Jesus precious name, AMEN.
Yes, Father, I pray in agreement. Please let your will be clear to Keabird.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Marital Strife - again - 7/30/2010 1:44:50 PM
|
|
|
marstacy
Posts: 2677
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline
|
Father,
I lift up Keabird and ask that You would give her wisdom and discernment about how to communicate with her husband. Please reveal Your Will to her and lead her in the direction You want her to go. Bless her with peace at home, help her husband see Keabird for the lovely person she is, and draw him ever closer to the Heart of Jesus. Protect her and the children from evil and hold them in Your loving care.
I am praying in Jesus' Mighty name,
Amen.
_____________________________
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
