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RE: Marital Strife - again - 8/1/2010 8:47:34 PM
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oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
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quote:
ORIGINAL: marstacy
Father,
I lift up Keabird and ask that You would give her wisdom and discernment about how to communicate with her husband. Please reveal Your Will to her and lead her in the direction You want her to go. Bless her with peace at home, help her husband see Keabird for the lovely person she is, and draw him ever closer to the Heart of Jesus. Protect her and the children from evil and hold them in Your loving care.
I am praying in Jesus' Mighty name,
Amen.
yes, yes, yes, Father, praying in agreement.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 8/1/2010 10:08:55 PM
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Dave4HIS_glory
Posts: 42
Joined: 7/29/2010
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
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Bring peace and love to this marriage Jesus. Soften her husband's heart toward her and others Lord. Minister to them and create a new thing in thier lives Father. Heal all wounds and bring forgiveness.
In Jesus name, Amen.
_____________________________
Gallatians 2:20
I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live ; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 8/30/2010 3:15:56 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
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I came back to this to see when I made that post about the comments about "mental" etc. Looks like it was around 20 July. So I guess not much time has passed, really.
A couple of weeks ago, in a time of calm we had a conversation about hubby saying those kinds of things. I asked him very nicely if he could stop doing it when he gets angry, because it is very destructive. He admitted to knowing that and pretty much said he'd try not to, or something like that.
Last night he did it again, much worse and in front of the grandchildren, and it was completely unnecessary. We were having a VERY minor "cross word" which could have been resolved in about 2 minutes. Instead, he did the "you're disturbed" etc thing. We both got angry. I pointed out the kids were there, and asked him repeatedly to lower his voice, and tried to get them to another room but as little kids do, they wanted to be around my feet. I felt bad that I allowed them to hear as much as they did and realized anew that this is NOT the kind of environment either they OR I need to be in.
I remembered how I said to the Lord a while back, "Lord, if he talks to me again like this in front of them, I will have to leave." Of course today he is all sweet again but I am resolving to follow up options about moving out. I spoke to the little ones' mother about it today.
This is really hard, and it's SUCH a hassle to go through with legal stuff etc :( But seem the only sensible path. Clearly he has not resolved to stop this particular avenue of verbal abuse although he has improved so much in other areas! Last night it was a like nothing had changed at all.
Needless to say, I appreciate prayer. I feel uneasy about going down this track, but not sure if it's because it's a bad track or just the grief and hassle involved, and the inevitable nastiness he will show ...
Oh, this morning I asked my wee granddaughter, 3, what he said last night - wanted to see what had impacted her if anything. She thought for a minute and then said something about not putting one's finger in the fire! (It's winter here and we have the fire going in the lounge). So at least it wasn't forefront in her wee mind after a night's sleep.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/1/2010 8:16:07 PM
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marstacy
Posts: 2677
Joined: 10/2/2008
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Father,
Please give Keabird wisdom and discernment as she contemplates what the future might bring for her and DH. Please send help in every way You know is needed and keep her and the family, including the weee ones, safely sheltered under Your Wings.
I am praying in Jesus' most Precious name,
Amen.
_____________________________
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/2/2010 10:19:37 AM
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autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
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O Lord, we ask for Keabird. For peace and patience, in Jesus name, Amen.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/5/2010 4:59:26 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Tonight I asked hubby if he thinks this relationship is working. A definite "no" was the response. Asked what he thought we should do, and he said straight away he wants to finish it.
I had approached the bank earlier in the week and was waiting to hear back, and was kind of hoping something awesome and different would happen meanwhile, but it hasn't. The yelling and name-calling continues, and I feel that my own responses are becoming unhealthier and losing patience. In addition, I feel just weary of it all. Daughter is upset a lot, and while sometimes she is in the wrong in how she addresses him, I can understand why she gets so resentful.
I have submitted this situation to the Lord, and asked Him to control it, and asked Him to help in terms of housing, and what becomes of this house. I pray for strength to get through this. Please pray for all of us. Please pray also for hubby that he will be able to be civil during this time, because historically he has become very abusive when we have separated.
I heard him immediately get on the phone to his friend tonight, and yet felt very peaceful. At the same time, there is a grieving sadness beginning. Please pray for me that I will be able to work through that process and adjust. It's not the outcome I hoped for, but there are other family members to consider, so for their sake ...
Please continue in prayer for us. (The wee ones were with their mother this weekend, so I asked her to keep them there tonight, as did not know what hubby was going to do.)
Lord, You are our Rock. Apart from You I can do nothing. So I ask YOU to do what should be done in me. Please heal my 17 yr old daughter from the hurtful comments made to her. Please heal hubby also from the hurtful comments she made to him. Help us all to be considerate of one another. Most of all, let Your will be done in this family situation.
I pray in Jesus Name
amen
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/5/2010 9:08:38 AM
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autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
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Father God, again, we ask for Keabird. Wa ask for a comfort, in her heart, and wisdom, we just lift her up to you Lord, in Jesus name, Amen.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/5/2010 11:35:42 AM
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AH1
Posts: 18
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Heavenly Father, You know all that is taking place and what is at hand right now. Much pain, heartache, confusion and frustration. I've been there Lord and it was definitely painful, ugly and left me with deep scars. You brought me through it all after many years. I'm asking that You will uplift this soul and envelop with Your Holy Spirit and minister to her.
Take away the pain, heartache and frustration Lord Jesus. Bring happiness, contentment and peace during this difficult time. I ask these things in Jesus precious name. Amen.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/7/2010 1:04:18 AM
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dafeni2001
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/28/2008
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Heavenly father, I ask that you bless the marriage of the Keabirds....Lord that have hit a bump in the road that only you can get them over. I ask that you to them and through them and show them the way that they should go....Lord, please continue to watch over the whole family and let them know that prayer does indeed change things.....Stay blessed and encouraged!
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/7/2010 9:12:01 PM
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bettymackII
Posts: 1501
Joined: 4/28/2007
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Lord, we know that You have ordained marriage and that You want them to
last a lifetime. In confidence we approach You with boldness to heal the relationship of this precious couple. May they both desire to make You the Head of their family, may they each desire to love and want the best for each other and may they both work really hard to restore their love for You and for each other. In Your loving name, Jesus we are praying. Amen
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/8/2010 12:28:59 PM
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marstacy
Posts: 2677
Joined: 10/2/2008
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Father,
Give Keabird guidance and discernment so that she can do what is pleasing to You in her marriage and family relationships. Lead, guide, and direct her every step of the way. Heal all of the relationships and bring peace to this household. Lord, help Keabird in every way, give her rest, and keep her and her family under Your protection. Thank You for hearing and answering our prayers.
In Jesus' Mighty name I pray,
Amen.
_____________________________
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
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Update - 9/10/2010 7:25:23 PM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Please lift me in prayer this weekend particularly. Hubby is being as difficult as possible about separating. He has been talking to yet a new person in a church and that person is NOT helping, but is rather, making things worse. The person means well but just does not know hubby.
Hubby claims he doesn't really want to separate but is carrying right on telling me regularly that I am "irrational" etc. I pointed out to him quietly last night that if a man's marriage is ending because that's how he speaks to his wife, then continuing the same behaviour is not going to help matters. It made no difference, and there is no evidence of repentance or even an assurance of an attempt to stop it. It's like he wants to keep it up his sleeve as something he can do.
Meanwhile, I have been looking at the practical options of housing. There are possibilities, then hubby gave me a letter in which he demanded a certain sum of money, saying if I gave it to him, he would move out. I didn't think at first it would be possible, but ran it by the bank, and they WILL look at it, providing some other criteria are met which don't concern hubby. So I told him last night that it looked like I might be able to give him his money. It's not confirmed yet.
This morning he has suddenly said that he is not going to do that after all. He now wants to go down a different track, which is costly, and neither of us can afford it. No matter what I do now, it is going to cost BOTH of us more than we needed to pay, and he is taking us both down the path to financial ruin.
It occurred to me he is trying to trap me here. For the first time, I felt myself on the verge of tears when he said he won't take the money - it's like he doesn't want to let me get away, and nor is he going to stop the horrible comments. Ultimately the money and the house are not important - it's the fact that he is making EVERY possibility difficult that is so frustrating.
Please pray for me - I really need it. The little ones are with their mother this weekend and I think I will be asking her to have them every weekend until the housing is resolved.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Update - 9/12/2010 8:05:31 AM
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autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
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O Lord, we do ask for out sister Keabird, bring peace, bring soft answers, bring wisdom,we just life her up to You for comfort, in Jesus name, Amen.
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RE: Update - 9/12/2010 12:56:28 PM
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feliciacyt
Posts: 562
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quote:
O Lord, we do ask for out sister Keabird, bring peace, bring soft answers, bring wisdom,we just life her up to You for comfort, in Jesus name, Amen.
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This is my prayer too. AMEN!
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RE: Update - 9/13/2010 3:38:01 PM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Thank you ... there have been a couple of things happen which I believe were "divine appointments".
A person hubby has done previous work for turned up to offer him work (hubby is out of work). The man is a strong Christian, whose father has a ministry in deliverance, so this man is somewhat experienced with that side of things, and has experienced it in his own life. Out of the blue, he shared with me that when hubby worked for him, he had to deal with hubby's "attitude" and had to set boundaries with him. While part of me felt very sad for hubby, part of me was relieved that someone else has spoken up about it. I didn't give him all the details, but in the course of the conversation he suggested hubby needs deliverance, which is what I have thought all along, but hubby doesn't believe in deliverance (at least, not where he himself is concerned!) Anyway the man offered to pray with me and I really needed it at that point.
I was also very frustrated that hubby would not talk properly or civilly about the house options. Later that day he came to me twice saying his friend on the phone (2 different friends) wanted to talk with me. I was glad, because I thought hubby would listen to them explain the house options. They were both very nice and supportive to me, and glad to explain to hubby when they could about the house. Both agreed that the options in the preferred order were common sense and the best way to approach it.
In spite of one of them explaining to hubby later that he should take option "A", he still tried to pressure me for more money. I have refused, as can't possibly afford it.
At this point there is one remaining option left to me to actually keep this house, otherwise I will be moving out and we have to sell. I pray that whatever happens, it goes smoothly and quickly.
I'm so tired... a couple of nights ago the thought came to me "weary soldier" and that's just what I feel like. I pray for strength to keep going and get through this.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Update - 9/14/2010 2:00:55 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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This morning I mentioned briefly about the guy's father who has a prayer ministry and kind of suggested that hubby and I go and see him together ... very defensive initially but I thought, well I have dropped the seed...
Later this afternoon he emailed me to he wants us to go. I think both of us feel it is the last ditch chance for us.
Please lift this meeting in prayer. I don't know when it will be yet.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Update - 9/14/2010 5:30:59 AM
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autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
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Praying for you, right now, that this meeting would go well. Amen.
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Prayer time - 9/15/2010 2:47:43 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
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Hi all, we are meeting with someone who apparently has a prayer ministry, tonight.
Thanks to those who lift us in prayer.
Father, I give You this meeting. Please help me to humbly go with the flow, to listen carefully to what is said, and be ready to submit to changes or insights that will help me be a better wife and more mature person in You.
I pray for hubby too, that he not be too nervous, but be enabled to listen to the man, and to allow prayer.
I pray that both of us will be open to Your ministry, help and if necessary, correction.
Lord, You know this is pretty much my last hope for seeing real change that will enable us to responsibly stay together. I commit the outcome to You and ask You to be Lord of this meeting, and that YOUR WILL be done.
I ask in Jesus Name
amen
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Prayer time - 9/15/2010 3:17:04 PM
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autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
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remebering Keabird in prayer tonight, Amen.
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RE: Prayer time - 9/15/2010 9:13:06 PM
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Keabird
Posts: 463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Hello there. The couple we met with are a lovely couple, and the husband definitely has the gift of discernment and insight. He said some profound things, but ultimately, it's whether hubby and I choose to act on them, of course.
He talked about hubby being the priest of the home, and therefore the "example" to everyone else, and also there was talk about the wife honouring her husband. The lady mentioned that even if hubby is horrible to me, I should still honour him in front of my daughter, and while I understand the gist of what she was meaning, I expressed that if he tells me I am, for example, "demented" in front of my daughter, who am I honouring by allowing that to continue? I guess I got the impression she thought I should "grin and bear it" but I am not at that place any more.
I confess I came away somewhat confused and a little scared. While there was a moment of humility for hubby, where he spoke to me in a special and relevant way, I am still fearful that he will go back to the same old in the future, and I don't think I can handle the possibility. So I came away not knowing what I should do.
At the moment, I am waiting. I don't know what for, but I am still preparing separation information for housing etc, cos I don't know what will happen.
I continue to appreciate the prayers of you all here, as this is the only place where I share detail about it all. I truly need direction at this time - would like to say, ok, we'll keep trying, but daughter has already expressed fear at such a possibility, so what do I do? Yet I can't allow her fear to override what the Lord wants either, so it is really from the Lord I need to hear! :)
Thanks. And thank You Lord for such a lovely couple that they were.
OH - I had a beautiful thing happen last night. A non-Christian friend (her and her hubby are friends with us through a club we all belong to) called me, out of the blue, just before we went out. She told me that she has been where I am at, and it is not nice, and she wanted me to know she and her hubby would be there for me. Now, hubby has been spending a LOT of time with them since this separation business started, and has talked to them. So I was very much encouraged and uplifted and thanked her and said what would mean the most to me is if they just keep on being my friends, which she said they would be glad to do. Wasn't that nice? Thank You Lord for them, too. :)
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Prayer time - 9/15/2010 9:53:12 PM
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Prayer Warrior
Posts: 1909
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quote:
ORIGINAL: autocad
remebering Keabird in prayer tonight, Amen.
Me, too, dear God. Please touch her life tonight and thank You.
_____________________________
KEEP PRAYING! QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!
PRAYING....AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!!!!
GOD is faithful...more faithful than we can imagine!
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RE: Prayer time - 9/15/2010 10:43:02 PM
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autocad
Posts: 992
Joined: 8/13/2005
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Father God, we lift up Keabird's husband, for him to say uplifting and edifying things.
We ask for a soft answers, as it turns away wrath.
We ask for a special peace for Keabird, and for wisdom, and direction, for all these things in Jesus name, Amen.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/16/2010 7:38:01 AM
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HannahElizabeth
Posts: 29
Joined: 5/7/2006
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Heavenly Father, I know you feel Keabird's pain right now and I pray that you will let her sense Your arms wrapped around her right now in the midst of it. Please let her know that you will never leave her, never forsake her. Please give her a sense of security, stability, please give her wisdom, please help her to manifest all the fruits of Your Spirit in her lift in her decision-making. Please block Satan from what he wants to do to speak evil into this marriage through ugly words, let her husband realize the origin of them before they pass his lips. Please bring that godly male mentor into his life who will be a place to bounce off his words before they hit his wife's ears, a place where he can hear the truth in love before his words spell out hate. Lord, you have brought this marriage through so much before and I know You are behind every understanding, every memory of the love they once shared coming to mind "out of the blue," you are behind every hope, you are behind every decision to do what is within your plan for both of their lives.
Lord, please speak a peace which goes beyond understanding on this marriage. love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. All over it, Father. Your healing. Chase the demons away. Please send your prayer warriors, holy angels to cover this family.
In Jesus name....
Amen
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/16/2010 8:17:12 PM
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oh2binva
Posts: 478
Joined: 4/9/2010
From: reside in MD
Status: offline
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Father, i ask that you would insert yourself in this situation and intervene for keabird. I ask that this abuse would end. touch her husband's heart to convict him of how abusive his behaviour is. Give him the willingness to stop it. Restore this marriage Father, and keep keabird's eyes on you for grace and patience and restoration.
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RE: Marital Strife - again - 9/16/2010 8:43:27 PM
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faithwalk
Posts: 2
Joined: 4/24/2008
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Keabird
I will pray for your marriage. I don't know if your husband was a christian and just fell away from the Lord or if he never knew Him. So, the first thing I want to pray for is for his salvation. Once he knows the Lord, he will see things differently. Please do not give up hope just yet. Your miracle may be just around the corner. I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you and not harm you. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.
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